Gosh….as the weeks pass, the feeling that we have made it becomes stronger and stronger. I can say with all certainty that I had little faith we would make it this far, though I desperately wanted to. I wanted to deliver a healthy, normal weight baby, but I also wanted to see what I missed in the last weeks of pregnancy last time. I’m a curious soul, so naturally I wanted to be able to experience all pregnancy has to offer….the good and the bad. I have always been envious of people who have normal, happy, healthy pregnancies, but I realize now that I’m as close to that as I will ever get. I’m so thankful to feel so awful, if that makes any sense at all. I would much rather feel yucky with Yates still cooking inside me, than to ever feel as bad as I felt when Charlie Rogan was working so hard to survive in the world outside of my womb.
I have begun to relax more, and the anxiety I feel now has more to do with the addition of a new baby to our family, rather than the pregnancy. I know that if Yates was born right now he would be okay. I think I will feel better mentally and physically once he arrives, although I hope that doesn’t happen for a few more weeks.